The Need for Quiet

For today’s dharma talk I want to talk about quietness as Gyomay Kubose Sensei writes in The Center Within,

“It’s important to take time to have some quiet moments in our lives, otherwise we get caught up in the busy-ness of always having something going on.”

I don’t know about you, but I know that I am entangled in busyness – busyness is all the distractions in our lives that keep us from moving into awareness.  And we are living in a time that glorifies busyness and disparages quiet –  where the most human of experiences and necessary; “boredom” is the new cardinal sin, to be bored is the new failure or failures.

As one teacher puts it,

“boredom is [now] considered a failure and worthy of pharmaceutical treatment, productivity is no longer the means to an end, but the point of life in itself. The entire goal is to Stay Busy and You Won’t Have to Feel a Thing.”   Josh Korda

 Have you ever met someone who could not stand silences, always filling any pause with sound? – even before I found the dharma I had a suspicion that such people are afraid to be quiet because they were afraid of what was in silence, afraid of themselves, maybe of feeling their own fucked up ness – but this busyness is not as much talking as it is talking, thinking, moving, reading we are a society that is being entertained into imbecility – and our busyness cuts us off from reality – from each other – everyone lives in the bubble of their own “movie sound track” either from our smartphones or the radio being constantly on in our cars, we fill up our lives with noise,. In my home, growing up. the TV was always on, even when I was like 10 I needed something to read in the bathroom- and with this condition comes unintended consequences like being terrified of silences in our relationships or the primacy of response over understanding in our listening to one another – Here is a quote from Cardinal Sara

Noise is a deceptive, addictive, and false tranquilizer. The tragedy of our world is never better summed up than in the fury of senseless noise that stubbornly hates silence.  and

…there is a dictatorship of speech, a dictatorship of verbal emphasis. In this theater of shadows, nothing is left but a purulent wound of mechanical words, without perspective, without truth, and without foundation. Quite often “truth” is nothing more than the pure and misleading creation of the media, corroborated by fabricated images and testimonies.

 Does anything describe the world we are in right better than this? The ghettos of Facebook are many times nothing more than theaters of shadows and if you think about it is the opposite of quietness, though we sit in silence scrolling thoroughly page after page it is a noisy activity of endless self-talk, comparison and judgement don’t get me wrong, there are good things happening on social media but its it the everyday addictive uses that are stealing our needed silences, our quietness in which we learn and engage with ourselves in the world around us, Thich Nhah Hahn teaches,

 Silence is essential. We need silence, just as much as we need air, just as much as plants need light. If our minds are crowded with words and thoughts, there is no space for us.”

 Social media and all the different apps on your smartphone are the epitome of busyness and the artificial curation of a life that has meaning. It is all image, noise, smoke and mirrors all of us strutting about our stage with our masks of ego and ironical still thoroughly unsatisfied beyond the immediate fix of a like or heart icon.

 Why is it that we need to fill in the quiet spaces with noise? The irony is the more we hear the less we listen,  the farther we walk away from a meaningful engagement with life itself.

 There is an antidote to this noise, the busyness.

 it is entering silence like we do here every Sunday the Silence of the Sangha. The stillness of humans resting their being in the depths of the silence*. it is to slow everything down to just be quiet, still, silent.  Right now, I am not even talking about any kind of meditation technique, just stop take a breath and sit in the beautiful ever-present calm silence that is our first and truest nature and this world we have become strangers to this side of ourselves.

But being silent is a difficult practice for all of us, let me share a story.

Four monks decided to meditate silently without speaking for two weeks. By nightfall on the first day, the candle began to flicker and then went out.

The first monk said, “Oh, no! The candle is out.”

The second monk said, “Aren’t we not suppose to talk?”

The third monk said, “Why must you two break the silence?”

The fourth monk laughed and said, “Ha! I’m the only one who didn’t speak.”

 For those who attended our retreat, our period of Noble silence was a lot more difficult than people realized – but worth it –

 Now some this may be hard because we see silence as a state of passivity. Not all silences are created equal – there are silences that heal watching our words as not be hurtful and silences that harm – not speaking out for the suffering or giving someone the silent treatment to punish them.  as Gyomay Kubose Sensei has taught that there is one that is dead, with no life in it and there is another that is full of life and awareness – so the way I understand this is that there is the silence of one who is stagnant, noisy and stuck and there is the silence that is attended, cultivated and protected. He goes on to write,

 “It is in the silence that we see the serenity in the world and in ourselves, the happens because in silence we see that we are one with the world.”

 Silence is a powerful and necessary teacher – So as part of our practice, we go into silence as a teacher as the truest state of experience beyond words –

Our ego self – our small self is born of the noise of self – consciousness and our true self emerges as we come out of the noise to the place where we are free from all narratives and constructs of self. Where we enter the boundless quality of our natural dynamic quietness, our true unbounded wordlessness.  We enter the luminous silence at the heart of existence.  

 Rumi the poet writes, writes,

Close the door of words
that the window of your heart may open.
To see what cannot be seen
turn your eyes inward
and listen, in silence.

~ Rumi

 In our opening mediations each Sunday we say that there is nothing for us to do – paradoxical isn’t  but I love this quote I found from Franz Kafka

You need not do anything. Remain sitting at your table and listen. You need not even listen, just wait. You need not even wait, just learn to be quiet, still and solitary. And the world will freely offer itself to you. It has no choice; it will roll in ecstasy at your feet.

—Franz Kafka

The teacher of silence is all around us, we are immersed in silence, the silence that is underneath all the noise – noise cannot destroy, or diminish the silence that we are speaking of, all this noise that can be so deafening, in the end, is nothing more than ornamentation – so  as the Tibetan teacher Tenzin Wangyal invites us to all do –

 When you are silent, hear the silence that is already there.

 Being quiet, cultivating silences is a practice, and intention, an aspiration- Let me share a personal example and Let’s bring this down from the poetic to the everyday –

So what does this look like in everyday life – if silence is everywhere then it’s with me even when I drive –

I decided as part of my periodic automobile Dharma practice (an idea I got from Koyo Sensei), to turn the radio off while driving. I was surprised at how hard it was.

Driving in silence was more difficult than I imagined. We love our noise. We, humans, are a noisy bunch are we not? It is hard for us to be quiet. Even in my attempts to be quiet, as a form of Buddhist practice, all I could do was sit in the silence bored and judging all the drivers. It was an eye-opening experience, a teacher of my mind’s default setting as it were. Even when attempting to practice! How much more when I wrap myself up in noise.

I realized that even though I wasn’t listing to the NPR and sitting in silence, I was silent either.  It was during this practice that I came to understand why Gyomay Kubose Sensei chose the word quietness over silence in his writing because on an everyday level, quietness is not synonymous with silence.

 Quietness is more of a state mind, a slowing down, a stillness. It is the stillness that allows you to listen and experience more deeply. I also came to realize that quietness is also a naturally dynamic response to awe and beauty, there is nothing passive about it. There is a receptivity inherent in quietness.

 So as this week goes forward I want to encourage you to make the time to be quiet, at this point I am not ever referring to mediation- just slow down and be quiet with our self, seek out silences – as one mindfulness teacher admonishes us.[0ijm ,/   to do when we find our silences, to

 – listen to it.  That means just notice it. Pay attention to it. Listening to silence awakens the dimension of stillness within yourself because it is only through stillness that you can be aware of the silence.  See that in the moment of noticing the silence around you, you are not thinking.  You are aware, but not thinking.

 I also I appreciate what Gyomay Sensei says, that through the awareness cultivated through quietness we can come to the realization that we are one with the world. I especially appreciate the following line, “ During quietness, you breathe together with the whole world. We breathe as one.”  This is the meaning of the Way of Oneness

 We are one with the world-

 Namu Amida Butsu.

 

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Driving Dharma

I would like to start our my dharma glimpse with a poem from the Venerable Robina Curtin; she is a Tibetan Buddhist nun in Australia, I love its matter-of-factness of her lines.

“We’re all mentally ill.
We’re all delusional.
We’re all junkies.
It’s just a matter of degree. “

I like how she embraces specific negative labels and says, “wait, hold on, you think that is not you…come on!” These are the labels we use for other people, not for ourselves, we can discount them, dismiss their experience because they are not like us, it’s all a way for us to avoid looking at ourselves. She calls it as it is, “You are delusional!” I think most of us would agree that we are delusional in a “not yet awakened way” but not “actually delusional” or in a “literally delusional” way but is that true?
In our sangha manual, we have this adapted line from Shinran as part of our liturgy,
Blinded by our delusion, anger, and greed we cannot see the brilliant light that embraces us – The Great compassion never tires, always casting its boundless light upon us, just as we are, always.
Sometimes for our dharma talk, we will use the prayers and affirmations in our practice manual as a starting point. We used the one above for a recent discussion. I asked the gathering what they would call someone who is out of touch with reality or in other words a person who doesn’t accept reality as it is and they responded with delusional. So I followed up by asking them how they were delusional. Not something they are usually asked. It was great to see their eyes light up as they started to slowly understand how they are actually delusional in a real everyday sort of way. It was then that the words of our dharma brother Noah San came into my head, it was a line from his book on Secular Buddhism which I really liked. In the chapter about Dukkha, he distills the cause of suffering into to a very simple and profound way. He writes that “We suffer because we want reality to be different than it is.” I offered this teaching to the gathering. It is that simple. We are delusional because of we. “we want reality to be different than it is.” It’s even more than want, we scheme, invent strategies, create convoluted stories all, so we do not have to accept reality as it is. Let me share an everyday experience that helped me see this.

A lot of my examples of late have to do with driving. I think I need to start a blog called Dharma Highways: How Driving Teaches us the Way……or maybe not. Every morning when I drive to work, as it does every day, the flow of traffic continually changes, slows down, speeds up, always in a state of flux because of a myriad of cause and conditions. This is the very nature traffic. When traffic stops moving it ceases to be traffic and becomes parking. That aside, here I am driving to work like I do every day and the reality that I want, the reality that I expect is the following:

no red lights,
goodly speeds,
graceful lane changes,
blinkers, yes blinkers.

I expect traffic to be light and if heavy still to move efficiently. But what happens when these expectations are dashed after the first right-hand turn? Anger? Rage? We, I mean I – become frustrated, my pulse races, my vision narrows. I am assigning all kinds of character traits to people I don’t know, transforming them into an enemy. The chanting I was just doing moments ago, forgotten and now I am driving aggressively and tailgate the car in front all because she moved into my lane and caused me to touch my breaks. Of course, I do not notice the bumper sticker placed loving on the driver’s side of the bumper, by her special needs granddaughter, that reads, “World’s Greatest Grandma.” Then in a flash, I realize, “Holy crap I’m delusional!” In a very real way, I do not see reality as it is. I am suffering because I want “reality to be different than it is.” It really is lunacy to suffer so significantly in the ebb and flow of traffic; it is traffic, it ebbs and flows.
The incident made me think of how many other places in our lives that we are delusional? Our relationships, our jobs, our expectations of ourselves. One of the most significant teachings that I have found in the dharma and from Gyomay Kubose Sensei is that acceptance IS transcendence. We suffer because we are unwilling to accept reality as it is and are so willing to dive right into depths of dukkha because we want so badly to believe we have some control over life. I would rather suffer and stay deluded than to accept how little control I actually have. And yet to be free, I have to acknowledge there nothing I can do to change reality. That reminds me of what Hiroyuki Itsuki writes in his book Tariki, his mantra that keeps him sane, “there is nothing I can do.” I too realize that there is next to nothing that I can do about the natural ebb and flow of life itself. This is a great mantra when stuck in traffic, “there is nothing I can do about the natural ebb and flow of traffic.” I guess I have found something that I can do. I can accept the ebb and flow of traffic. I can directly observe how it works and by doing so become more aware of the unnoticed kindness of strangers that let me in, the person in the car next to me crying, or the kids in the back seat laughing and making faces, all manifestations of the light of the great compassion.
Yes, I am delusional, and I am working on by degrees accepting reality a little more each day, even when I am stuck driving 47 in 70 miles an hour zone.

Gassho

Ku Yo – Offerings to all the Buddhas

“ Ku Yo, making an offering is a very important virtue in the Buddha’s Way…Ku Yo is done in relation to someone who is more worthy than oneself…to do Ku Yo is one way of expressing profound gratitude and nourishment for the very source of our gratitude…it is an honor to do Ku Yo.” – Gyomay Kubose

 

The concept of Ku Yo resonates with me. To make offerings to all the Buddhas is something that brought me back to Buddhism, after being away for a while. I have no idea of why this is what brought me back. If I look at my history, one would think that this is what would drive me away instead of drawing me nearer. Recently I was re-reading the Shorter Pure Land Sutra about how one of the practices in the Pure Land being was to make offerings to countless Buddhas of other Buddha lands. In Sukhavati, it rains Mandarava blossoms all the time, and those flowers are gathered up and then offered to numerous Buddhas across the universe. Along with other meditative or Bodhisattva practices, there is also the practice of Ku Yo. I love that fact that the offering to the Buddhas is not something that is rare but something that is continuously unfolding. I like to think of the flowers as a representation of the compassion and practice of those living in the Pure Land; the flowers raining from the sky represent the fruit of practice and awakening. As Mark Healsmith has written, “The flower is a wonderful exemplar of the uniqueness yet interconnectedness of all life “ and makes the offering of them an expression of the interconnectedness of all life and “profound gratitude, for the very source of our gratitude.”

The other reason why Ku Yo resonates with me is it is something that I have been contemplating. I have been thinking about Ku Yo in the frame of the “Way of Gratitude” and some of the barriers that impede our cultivation of it. I have been thinking about the role of humility and gratitude and how humility is one of its prerequisites. I think, at times, we struggle with gratitude because we struggle with humility. As I have been thinking about this and asking others, I found that for many of us we struggle with humility because we have not experienced it, only its unhealthy sibling; Shame. In humility we are open, we are ready to learn, we show both sides of the leaf. With shame, we close our self off from the outside world and bury our leaf in the darkest hole. In this state of mind when we see someone with boundless compassion or great practice we do not see it as something we can learn from, but they become a source of further comparison and a deepening shame of our failures. That which could give us hope and insight into our Buddha Nature only becomes a testament to our failures. Gratitude gets choked off in the darkness. Humility, on the other hand, opens us up to awe and the acceptance of our limitation, it frees us to “keep going” without the burden of judgment and shame.

As Gyomay writes, Ku Yo practice is being done in relation to someone or something that is more worthy than oneself. More worthy than me? A part of us does not like such a statement. Here is where many of us live in a paradox. In our shame we feel unworthy and yet we bristle at the idea of someone being more worthy than us? Why is this concept so challenging for some of us? Maybe it is because we have inherited the karma of “rugged individualism” and a misplaced meaning of “equality”? In opening services at our Sangha, we recite lines from the opening they use at Plum Village Sangha in France. One of the lines says, “may we be free from the “equality complex””, to remind ourselves that there are things greater than ourselves, like the three refuges for example; the Dharma, The Sangha and the Buddha. I am grateful that there are things in this world greater than me! I feel a sympathetic joy and gratitude to those I make offerings to. I think that Ku Yo is the fruit of “sincerely seeking the true life” (46) There is no Ku Yo without “true life” and no true life without “Ku Yo”, they “co-arise”. Offerings to the Buddha inspire us to become Buddhas, they come from the heart, there is no ego in it.” (46) all the time realizing that what bows and is bowed to are the same.

I have great appreciation for the more psychological and secular forms of Buddhism and they have been companions with me on my journey. At the same time I appreciate the idea of something greater than my small ego-self, a point of reference that elicits awe, a devotional expression within samsaric dualism, that works dynamically through poetry, metaphor and experience to dissolve all dualisms into the great ocean of compassion.

Boundless: The SLBF Newsletter

Read our latest newsletter by clicking on the Buddha.

Featuring:  An essay by Jennifer Munson on finding her way to the Salt Lake Buddhist Fellowship. Elesha Morris gives us a guided meditation for grounding and gratitude, Myoshin looks at writing haiku as Buddhist practice, plus Buddhist spoken word, and teachings from  Koyo Kubose.

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